If I cried out, who would hear me up there, among the angelic orders?Rainer Maria Rilke
We reach for words to speak in a voice that is both intimate and majestic on the mysteries of human life and reveal our attempt to translate the angels language….. to use our self-consciousness to some advantage…. to transcend, through our art and the imagination, our self-deception and our fear.
There is no gentle here, but oh how it longs to be tender, and oh how it yearns to be soft.
All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.
I’ll take this soul that’s inside me now…. like a brand new friend I’ll forever know…
“I am always trying to convey something that can’t be conveyed, to explain something which is inexplicable, to tell about something I have in my bones, something which can be expressed only in the bones.” ― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena
Bones hold in their marrow..shapes and sounds
Evidence of gravity-bound
Soul touches the remembering
of the courage bones are made of…
As the Bones speak with their “inside” voice… saying…
“Never the same again”
“For the discovery of self we have to overcome the fear of self, so as to find the marrow ‘within’ and disclose our ‘true’ self.” ― Erik Pevernagie
The picture on my main blog page….taken by me.. was part of my..”once upon a time” garden.
I still miss that house..and then…
I take a breath…
I have a lovely Jasmine making its own mark upon my heart
these days…and new roses have thrived here at…
Yep….a baker’s dozen of months, since the
unexpected…unrehearsed move….into a home that we did not want to buy…but
Yes..I have continued living..
even though..we both fell off the world we knew…
We realized..we had to leave…to find our way
Well..once awakened…it’s all a horrible relief anyway…..but
With every moment consciously pressing to the sight of
myself…I balanced my smile better……..
I got into the rhythm of acceptance…I stopped carrying sad
And replaced them with the now common phrase that echoes
daily in our home….still….
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME NOW..”
I said it so much that for my birthday this year..
My hubs had a license plate made for me….yep
He has a sick and contagious humor…..
On May 27th this year, we started prepping our bungalow, for the exterior painting….and finally…on June 29th we were ready to put paint to roller and brushes..and begin..
This coming Sunday..we will be taking the final pictures of
the completed works..where again we are reminded..why we both love to dance
We took a day, this past weekend..to NOT paint and drove to
our local fruit barn and took Miss Beans..our Mini Whippet girl… in her
stroller and we bought fruit and nuts..and fish food..to feed the Koi in their
pond…Miss Beans loves the fish..
She will be 6 in November and she grew up feeding these fish
every spring and summer…
They come right up to the shore and Miss Beans talks to
them..little whisper barking..and tail wagging..
She was 8 weeks old..when she first met them… time does go
Yes…we drove past the old house..that day too….for the first time since… the move….
We got to the house and my glorious garden…was gone….completely taken away as if it never existed..and bare dirt was left,…nothing growing..nothing thriving….and the house seemed sad…there was no rose garden for the birds to gather in…the emptiness was deafening
I have a picture, from 2014…as I was coming down my stairway..of
a perfect rose bud…peaking through the top window at the entry..
I took a picture of its blooming..every day..each morning,
with the sunrise…and then….one day..it became whole and gloriously
It bloomed whole..the day we learned my hubs was cancer
Deep breath..a lot of life happened..at that house..
it was a glorious summer that year….
Letting go is always an awakening within itself…
We got back to THE BUNGALOW…… gloriously grateful…to
“Eventually, all things merge into one, and a
river runs through it. The river was cut by the world’s great flood and runs
over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless
raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters.”
― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through it
Leave the road..and memorize….
the life that passes by…
carry this voice..
through the light years…
left to go….
We are each a river….
The ocean is our goal….
Our strength and courage polish our life..
Where everything goes the rivers’ way…
As life empties itself…into the tide of Being….
We must leave the shore…to find our way..
Not to search….just to flow….
“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back”― Rainer Maria Rilke